Walk on By

Following yesterday's crazy day at the office, I decided to opt out of my cute skirt and sharp-as-a-martini-olive-toothpick heels in favor of Joel McHale's latest episode of The Soup. While I find the show hilarious, Joel McHale is also one of my regular guy celebrity crushes. There really is something attractive about a guy who can make me laugh.

To complement my night of watching The Soup, I decided to order Chicken Tom Yum soup from Little Basil. After leaving the office to pick up my order onthe  way home from the office I spotted something. Walking toward the restaurant, I noticed a cyclist approaching from the opposite direction. Yes, I think bicycles are wonderful means of transportation; when operated properly, in the street¾not on the sidewalk.

This guy was a bit douchey looking. Not quite hipster, not quite Goldman Sachs golden boy. A blazer tailored to fit a trust fund brat from the 80's, designer jeans, loafers and...sunglasses. It's February. In New York. Sunglasses? I guess he thought the scarf tucked into his blazer provided sufficient warmth. At least he was wearing socks with those loafers.

As I walked by him and reached for the door to enter Little Basil, he complimented me by saying,"Don't you look pretty today."

Turning to meet his glance, I simply replied "Thank you." I really wasn't interested. Not only was I not into him, just not really into the game right now...at all.

And then he said it, "You look really pretty. I bet your underwear would look pretty on my bedroom floor."

I couldn't even manage an eye roll. It was one of the dumbest things a man has ever said to me. Ever. No, really.

With an exhausted sigh I said the first thing that came to mind, "Too bad you'll never know."

After leaving bicycle boy nearly crashing into a quota-happy traffic agent (it is the end of the month), I went inside, waited for my soup...and had a martini to complement my sassy attitude.

--Frankie

Image by Flickr user Padraic.

Somebody That I Used To Know

As Valentine's Day crept closer I wanted to share a new story. It's been a bit over a year since my last post and wouldn't you know; I received a little Valentine's surprise email today.


I am still single. Still in the city. And now loving everything going on in my life.



And then it happened.


Despite hearing, through the grapevine(aka Facebook), that he is now engaged, I received a Valentine's email from a certain someone. Perhaps I should tell him I moved to Costa Rica and now have three Tico children. Or maybe tell him I relocated to Staten Island and am now married to the mob--those ladies seem like they are making some good money. The truth just doesn't seem as entertaining, but I do still smile when glancing around my new Murray Hill studio. Yes, it's true--my apartment. I was sitting here in my apartment on my cozy bed, listening to Goyte, when this appeared...suddenly in my inbox:

Hi Frankie,

I was just cleaning up and throwing out old contacts when I found your name and email address- I didn't even know I had.

I thought I'd ask what became of you, and where you are in the world.

Warmly,
Lucifer

Dumbass guys always reach out to their ex-girlfriends after they make serious commitments to their current girlfriends.

Hmmmm...thank goodness he is only somebody that I used to know.

--Frankie