Ah my summer of 30; it started back in June. Phil wanted to celebrate my 30th birthday with me, though instead I took off to Miami with Pamela and Alexis. It was all fun and games baking on South Beach, stuffing our faces at Raffi's, and trying to avoid every nightclub that has been featured on Jersey Shore. And yes, I still love my favorite gelato shop, despite it's recent takeover by MVP + IFF .
The Fourth of July holiday had been one of the only large blocks of time I was able to dedicate to Phil and apparently he was feeling a bit more independent as the amount of time I was able to dedicate to him dwindled.
As the summer progressed, I spent more time at Pamela's house. We have been relaxing more than partying, as it seemed these Jersey Shore kids like to hang in my out of town spots and I did not want to venture out to Seaside during their filming of the third season.
We had a low-key, good old fashioned, backwoods weekend. It started with the Elks club on Friday and barbecue on Saturday. Beer pong balls flew through the air and I listened intently to the older dudes as they told their stories and repeatedly complemented Pamela and me on our sassy personalities.
Returning to Manhattan via NJ Transit on Sunday I called Phil, who did not answer. Somewhere between Elizabeth and Newark my telephone rang and Phil's name illuminated my screen.
"Hey Baby, how are you?", I asked, as I thought perhaps we would hang out later.
"I'm good, I'm good, Frankie", he replied sounding strange, "drivin' back to tha Island from Seaside".
"I am on the bus returning from Jackson; We could have hung out if I knew you would be down on the Shore", I mentioned.
"Oh well, I went down with a few people. Ya know", he was trying to say it, though could not.
"Oh. I see.", was all I could think to say, though I needed to get the words out of Phil, as I knew they would not lead to progress between us. I continued,"Why don't you come up and meet me at the apartment in one hour? I have not seen you for quite some time".
"Frankie...", it was all he could say. All he could say until it all came out. "Frankie, you have not been around and you live so far away...and..."
I continued for him,"You've been seeing another girl."
"Well, yes, though not before you told me how you did not want to live in New York or Staten Island. You're too spontaneous for me. There is no room in your life for me. It's clear. I want something...more...now.", was Phil's impassioned explanation.
"I can't believe this. You introduced me to your family...is that what you do with every girl?", I asked astonished.
"No, Frankie. I was falling for you. Really. Deeply. Though you make me feel like you don't care. It's like I don't fit into your life. You have this life plan and I can't compete."
"I don't know what to say", was all I could say.
"I'm sorry Frankie", he was kind though stern.
"Yea. Me too Phil", I said,"though don't sweat it too much. You're right, you don't fit into the plan and I don't need you...considering I have a brand new pack of batteries in my bag". It was after this final comment when I hung up on Phil and resolved to vote myself off Staten Island.
--Frankie
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