Why Bisexual Women Have a Bad Rep.

The LGBT Center

So after my recent promiscuity, I decided to do some soul searching. Well, really sexuality searching.

Is it possible to be attracted to both men and women equally at the same time? I seem to have no problem with that, although at the moment I'm preferring women over men. Is that normal? According to AfterEllen there are categories to bisexuality. I wanted to see if these categories existed in the flesh.

After bribing Cindy with dinner, I recruited her to come with me to a meeting at The Center.

You can't miss The Center. It's that big building on 13th with the rainbow flag. It's also the one with all the gay couples arguing, talking, and dancing in front of it. You really can't miss it.

Cindy and I walked in the front door and asked the girl at the desk where the bisexual womens' meetup was.

She looked up from her paper up at us and eyed us up and down. She shook her head. It was one of those looks that blast right through you and scoff you at the same time. "Second floor, first right," she said and then continued to read her paper.

When Cindy and I entered the meeting we were surprised to find several attractive women of all ages. There were about 20 of them. Sitting in the front of the room in the middle was an older, attractive blond woman. Cindy and I took a seat near the rear of the circle.

"Hi I'm Jane. I hold these meeting every other week. On the weeks in between I hold what I refer to cuddle parties at my apartment, and I hope you all stop by. It's free love and we're OK with orgies. So next week every one is invited OK? So why are you here?" the woman asked casually gesturing to one very frightened and youngish observer. "Because you are bisexual and you either sleep with both men and women or are attracted to both. Some people feel that unnatural. That you are either gay or straight. What are your thoughts?" she asked the girl sitting cross-armed next to her.

"I'm not sure I'm qualified to answer this question," she said. "I'm not gay or bi-sexual," she stated.

"So you are straight?" Jane asked raising an eyebrow (Snickers and looks from several girls).

"No, I'm, well, undefined," she said nodding.

One of the other girls interrupted. "Why do you have to define your sexuality at all? It's like just a piece of you and not the whole puzzle," she stated.

"Because it is part of you and people like to categorize," Jane said.

"You," she said pointing to Cindy. "What do you consider yourself?"

"Uhhhhh. I'm actually here with her," she said gesturing toward me. "Not, with her, but here with her as a friend. I'm a lesbian. No doubt there," Cindy added.

"OK. I get it you don't date bi-girls," Jane retorted sarcastically. "Lesbians have this thing against bi-girls, ladies."

"Hey, I don't have a thing against them," Cindy said. "In fact, I've had a great time pressing up against them if you catch my drift, but right now I'm looking for something serious, which means I'm looking for another lesbian to love. I don't want the woman I'm dating to run off with a man just because she's unsure," she said defending herself.

"Yeah, whatever. So what are you?" Jane asked tilting her head toward me.

"I'm more of a who rather than a what," I responded. "I'm Ruby, and I guess I'm bi."

"Ruby, do you like having sex with women as much as men or do you think that with men it's kind of rough and dirty. I always thought sex with men was dirty, but it's also fun," Jane said.

"Errrr. Well, I like sex with both and I really don't think about it being dirty, I guess," I said. "I guess ultimately I'm just looking to meet that one person who will be my everything, as cheesy as that sounds, regardless of gender."

"Well, that idealistic," Jane said. "I don't think bi-sexuals can be really committed," she continued.

"Jane, that's bullshit" said another woman in the circle. "I'm bisexual and have been happily married for 15 years to the same woman. "

The conversation continued for a while and Jane made more of the younger girls uncomfortable by asking them what sexual positions they liked, if they practiced safe sex, if they used vibrators and so on. Jane also went on to insult transgenders, butch women and, well, pretty much everyone. It was a real cozy, nice to meet you type of group meeting.

It seemed to me that everyone in the group was great, except Jane, who had some sort of chip on her shoulder. It was also ashamed that she had scared half of the young bi-curious women in the meeting away by putting them on the spot. Many of them had never slept with women, but were anxious about taking that step. Here was Jane to freak them out by inviting them to an orgy at her house. She was like a preditor ready to deflower the curious.

After the meeting was over, Jane approached me and Cindy. "I hope you'll be back or I see you next week," she said looking at me more than Cindy.

"Oh yeah, next week I'm kind of busy, but I'll be back here," I answered, not totally sure I was going to be back at all.

"We gotta run," Cindy said. "I promised this girl that Ruby and I would fuck her together around 8 so we're going to be late as it is," she said pulling me away. "It's been great learning experience. Really."

Cindy and I left The Center laughing. "Women like her," Cindy started, " are why all bi-sexual women have bad reputations." - Ruby