What a drag...queen. That is.

I decided I might try the online dating thing, against Frankie's wishes. I know, I know, it sounds desperate, right? But everyone is on Facebook and Twitter so where is the harm in a little online dating? I went on a date with this girl from Curve. Her screen name was Abracadabra. My question when I saw her profile: Can you find magic from online dating?

We emailed for the first week, started texting the second week and by the third week we were set to meet. So we did, at Cubbyhole. The bar was packed so we slid into the booth at the back of the club and tried to talk over the crowd.

Abracadabra was extremely pretty, thin and very serious. She was a reporter for a newspaper and a part-time poet. Quite the combination. Anyways, we had Hemingway in common. I knew she liked his novels from her Curve profile and we had not yet covered literature in our discussions. I debated that The Sun Also Rises was his defining work while she was arguing that it was The Old Man and The Sea.

In the midst of our Hemingway discussion, a trannie or drag queen in a purple mini-skirt and a silver shirt named Glinda that was crammed between our table and a neighboring one joined in our conversation.

"No, no. You have it all wrong. It was A Farewell To Arms that made his career, ladies," Glinda interrupted and then squeezed into the booth next to my date. "Oh, thank god. So are you gals here often?" she asked.

"Um...no," replied Abracadabra, looking awkward. "We are on our first date."

"Oh, how adorable. And you are both so pretty. What an amazing couple you would make," Glinda said. "So what do you do?" she asked me.

"I'm in publishing," I replied a bit taken off gaurd.

"And you?" she asked Abracadabra.

"I'm a reporter, why?" Abracadabra replied.

"Ah, so you are both people that cling to words. Words can make or break a relationship for you," she said.

"I suppose," I replied. "but, it depends upon the actions that go along with it..."

"I'll be right back," announced Abracadabra."Have to go to the girl's room."

"Ok," I replied. Since Glinda was there we continued talking a bit philosophically about relationships that is until I got a text from Abracadabra:

Pissed. Meet me outside.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked when I went met her outside the bar.

"Only that you would rather talk to some drag queen then me!" exclaimed Abracadabra."I can't believe you would sit there and start carrying on a conversation with her on our first date."

"But the bar is jam packed and you went to the bathroom..." I tried to rebuttle.

Abracadabra started crying. All I wanted was a normal relationship with someone and now I find out you are into drag queens..." she sobbed.

I was a bit confused. "Huh? We aren't in a relationship and no I like girls. I'm not into drag queens," I said.

Abracadabra was hysterical crying. I tried to console her but she pushed me away and then slapped my arm. Now I know when someone is acting possessive. I did date Elizabeth after all, but this was way beyond that. This was insane.

"You know what," I said. "You're right. Glinda is kinda cute. I'm sorry I bothered meeting you. But I'm glad I did come because I'm going to hang out with her instead." I went inside the bar and bought Glinda a drink. She was good company. I suppose that's why I think there's no magic in online dating, but now that I hear Lindsay Lohan is on eHarmony I might change my mind. That is if they are not back on. - Ruby.