Not gonna write you a love song

Since I broke up with Limp Dick about a year ago and started my saga back in dating I have been on more disastrous dates then I could have imagined. Still I wouldn't trade them in. My adventures over the past year have let me turn more corners and discover that the person I am and also that person who I want to be with has to be (let me not go all cliche on you) unique. After all, I'd rather go on a bunch of bad dates then be as sexually frustrated as Elizabeth Taylor in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. Wouldn't you?

Anyway, I recently joined a Equinox gym in dire hopes to work off my addiction to Ben & Jerry's. I decided to try the Yoga class since it supposed to tone and help with focus, but all my mind could focus on was the instructor. Her name was Kerry. She was blond, blue-eyed and there was no way she could be into girls. Right?

We started off with a sun salutation. She did the move and then we repeated until she said stop. As I was saluting the sun she came over, smiling and winked. She didn't say a word, but quickly slid her hand down my thigh and adjusted my legs and then quickly adjusted my arms, slid her hands down to my waist and then walked away and went to the next person.

I felt like I had just been frisked by a seductress.

Kerry repeated this throughout the hour session. By the end of it I was soaked...With sweat, that is.

I was throwing my yoga mat in the closet with the others when she introduced herself to me. "Hi-ya! I'm Kerry! Thanks for stopping by my class today. You know you are pretty flexible well balanced. If you would like to spend a little extra time I could go through some sessions with you so you are able to do more advaced poses. What do you say?"

"Well, I like the class, but I don't really have the money to hire a personal trainer..." I responded.

"No, no. I'm sorry. I didn't mean...I meant I'd love to just show you. No cost. Just for fun," she said.

"Oh. Yeah. That'd be cool!"

So I went back the next day and had a private lesson. It was great! I was becoming a yoga master, but I couldn't take my eyes off of teacher. It was OK though. She was straight, had just broken up with her boyfriend, and completely out of my league so I resigned myself to making her a friend.

Then during our third lesson, after Kerry taught me to do this headstand move, she grabbed my shoulders and started giving me a massage.

"Your t-shirt is kind of getting in the way. Do you mind if I take it off?" she asked.

"Oh, I guess not. I'm wearing a sports bra," I replied and giggled a bit.

"Oh yeah, maybe I'll try to convince you to take that off too," she said laughing.

"Please. You really want to see sweaty boobs," I said laughing too.

I turned my head and her face was right up to mine. We were both laughing. Then she stopped and touched my face and smiled. I was well flabbergasted. What did that mean? Could she be interested? No, couldn't be.

"Hey, you know. It's late and I'm supposed to meet friends over at this Karaoke Bar around the corner," I started. "Are you outta here? Would you want to come?"

"Sure. That sounds fun," she said.

We met Frankie, her hot doc, Cindy and her latest fling and joined in the signing at a table in the bar area.

"Damn. She's hot," Frankie said to Cindy softly after Kerry went to get us drinks at the bar.

"She's also straight," Cindy whispered back.

"We're just friends," I said.

"Friends. You want her ass!" Cindy responded. "I can't blame you, but she'll slap you before she kisses you. Consider this your warning. You don't want to deal with that again."

"You got slapped?" Frankie asked.

"I kissed this girl in high school and she smacked me. I thought she was into me," I said. "By the next week I was dating a senior guy."

"I thought we had lost her for good," Cindy said laughing.

Kerry came back over with a couple hard cocktails that she said were semi-low carb. They were super sweet and super strong.

Frankie signed me and her up to sing "Love Song" by Sara Bareiles. Frankie started off the song and I followed with the next verse. We sang the song like angry lovers to each other and the choruses together. It was off the hook. We got a standing ovation from everyone in the bar, including Kerry who kissed me on the cheek after we returned to the table. - Ruby