A Just Friend and a movie

I hate being alone. Being alone sucks. I’m through with it. Well, that’s what I thought this weekend anyway. So here I was with “Just Friend” seeing about the most absolutely non-romantic movie in the world, “Baby Mama”.

Now I have known “Just Friend” for years. I even roomed with his girlfriend in college. We are like two sides of a peanut butter sandwich, except we are both the peanut butter side and we are both searching for the jelly.

We were having a good time that night catching up everything. We talked about his ex (my old roomie), old friends, and stupid drunken times. Then we got off of the subway and walked into the theater . Everything changed then. It was weird.

Just Friend stepped in front of me in line and ordered “our” tickets to see the movie, but awkwardly, like he wanted really badly to do it. Then Just Friend bought popcorn and a soda and said, “So you are single now, and I am single. That makes us two cats on the prowl.”

LOL or gag myself. I didn’t really know how to react, except I gave him that look. You know the look. Like the WTF look. “Yeah, right. Two cats on the prowl, just like you said.”

Then we walked into the movie and I thought,” Wow. Fantastic timing. So just friend and I grabbed the popcorn, mostly because I love it. I could literally eat it day in and day out, except that it is bad for you. So there I am gorging myself with unbuttered popcorn and in conversation with him about how the price of gas these days is more embarrassing than renting a porn in a hotel, and he puts his arm around me as the movie is starting.

Ew.Ew. Ew. Ew. I almost gagged.

Then and only then I did something that I will never, ever do again. I thought OMG, I don’t want him to think of me in a sexual way EVER, he is Just Friend and he will only ever be Just Friend to me. Then in a truly stupidly spontaneous moment I shoved my entire face into the popcorn bag, started making Cookie Monster noises like “Um, Yum, Um. Me like popcorn.” Then I proceeded to shove my head down into the bag of popcorn.

Just friend withdrew his arm immediately. He looked at me confused and then he started laughing. “OK stop. The movie is starting.”

I wiped my chin with a napkin, and all was well after that between Just Friend and I. -Ruby