Dr. Jackson and Mr. Dick

I never thought that I would ever be so happy to see this island again! No, not Grand Turk (though it was the most beautiful, unadulterated little sliver of sand); I am actually grateful to be at Grandma's house... in...yes...Staten Island. After only a few days following our return to Deliverance country from the cruise, I had enough of PeeWee's playhouse and demanded that we return to NYC with Grandma. Reasons to leave? Oh, where do I begin? I told Frannie what transpired between her scumbag boyfriend and myself.

She responded to my accusation only after consulting Mr. Wonderful,"Why do you want to destroy my happiness?? You must have misunderstood. He was only trying to show you how thankful he is that you left your boyfriend during the holidays and comfort you during this difficult time".

"Oh yes, M-O-M, he showed me how grateful he is", I quipped.

"Oh Frankie, please, you think every man wants you because you are pretty", she accused and continued,"was he hard when he did this?"

I was stunned, motionless where I stood; did she really ask that question? "Well, you were never one to offer emotional shelter why should you start now?", I stung the woman with my words. She glared at me, tears in her eyes, screamed from her gut and threw her phone, which missed me and smashed into little pieces on the floor.

Five minutes later I contacted JetBlue on my phone to change our flight and one day later we were returning to NYC, as a happy little family.

I am lying in bed in my old room, as Hospice prepares Grandma's bed downstairs. She is in so much pain, her mind is deteriorating and we are unable to care for her alone.

Speaking of caregivers, where is Lucifer? The last I heard from him was Monday when he text me, simply saying that he missed my warmth. I left a voice mail prior to our departure from the airport in Fort Myers, telling him that we were returning early and I was hoping that he would make it out to the Island soon. I wanted his arms, touch; only to be held. I am so sick of crying over this impending emotional hurricane; to lie in his arms and fall soundly asleep for the first time in three months is the best medicine; nearly close to heaven.

I was drifting; only a light sleep, never anything substantial. My phone rang. It's Lucifer. "Hey Sugar," he began, "how is everything?", his voice no longer soothing, almost bored and uninterested.

"We brought in Hospice for Grandma, this is not looking good. I am so tired, though unable to sleep" I replied.

"Sorry Frankie, that is sad." Something in his voice was not right; it wasn't the same soothing, warm song that I heard when waking those mornings in his Hell's Kitchen apartment.

"Are you well? You never responded when I left the message telling you about our early return."

"UMMM...yea, Frankie...I started seeing other people while you were away.", He stated coldly.

What?, I asked myself and said, "YOU started seeing other people...after asking ME to be with only YOU?"

"Well, yes", he answered matter of factly.

"Why would you do this to me...now...with my grandmother on her deathbed?"

"Well, we haven't been dating that long and then you went away and I didn't know when you were coming back. You were talking about running down to Panama later in the year and I can't hold a relationship like that; it is unrealistic. You were being inconsiderate of my needs. I am sorry." He was so insincere it felt as though I never knew this Dick formerly known as Dr. Feelgood

Oh, he was a mean bastard. I was so angry and tired which made me cranky; he roused this anger within me, a purging of all the shit that had accumulated in three months. "So you made the decision to end things about, what...a week ago, without me? And here you sit, you selfish piece of shit. You probably had a date with her earlier this evening." He was silent. "Well, I hope you had fun, I may now rest soundly knowing that I am no longer wasting your sweet, precious time...here comes the click Dr. Dick", I said and hung up.

--Frankie