Confessions of a bisexual woman

So the bomb had dropped leaving chaos and confusion behind. I had just confessed my love to a friend who could not possibly reciprocate those feelings. I didn't feel broken, just stained.

"Ruby," Kerry started." I have those feelings for you too, but I don't think that I could ever be with a woman."

"What? But do you feel..." I started to say completely shocked.

"What I'm trying to say is that I don't think I could do it. I do feel something, but I don't know if it's right, and I can't be. I just can't be... I would let everyone down. Plus, the statistics of lesbian relationships actually working out is insanely small.

"But..." I started, again.

"Ruby, I always want to be your friend. I always want to have you in my life, and it can't be. I'm not that way. I can't be," Kerry said as I hugged her.

"Okay. It's Ok. Then be my friend. Let's cook some spaghetti," I said unconvincingly and taken off guard.

"You have Country Club. Be with him, Ruby. Try," Kerry pleaded."He'll be so hurt..."

" I am with him, Kerry. I am trying, but you want the truth. Right? So you have it," I said.

I walked into the kitchen hurt and mortified. Then I dipped a fork into the pot of pasta and flung a piece against the side of the refrigerator. It stuck there. I turned around and Kerry was standing there watching. I grabbed the piece of spaghetti off of the fridge and threw it at her. "Catch!"

She jumped and just stared at me guiltily.

"What? I'm over it," I said and started draining the pasta.

"I'm not. I'm..." She wrapped her arms around my waist as I stood at the sink, and started hugging me from behind."I'm not..."

"Kerry. Stop," I said and turned around. She backed away from me against the refrigerator. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I'm just..." I started and looked down.

Kerry walked over and hugged me tight. Her blond hair in my face and her face burried in my neck. I hugged back.

We stood there in silence for a few minutes staring at each other. Our faces inches away. I waited to see if she would lean forward. She didn't. Those blue eyes just swam sadly into my own eyes. I had to look away.

"I have to finish this dinner for Frankie. Are you going to help? I want you to," I said."I want us to forget that happened."

"Forgotten," Kerry said wearily. "Back to pasta and chicken tending."

Frankie arrived just then. She threw her bag onto the couch and sunk into it.

"Hey stranger. Wine?" I asked.

"Vineyards worth," she replied. "When are they coming."

"You have 15 minutes or so before the festivities begin," I answered

Kerry grabbed a few glasses and poured us all a glass of Chianti. She handed Frankie on first and then one to me. "To your grandmother. May we all grow up to be as bad ass as that woman was," I said.

"Hells yeah," Frankie smiled sadly. We clinked glasses and each took a sip. "Where's your glass?" Frankie asked Kerry.

Kerry had poured herself a glass, but had left it in the kitchen. She held her hand out to me. I handed her my glass and she took a sip, leaving her lipstick on the edge. - Ruby