Eyes Wide…SURPRISED!

Walking down Fifth Avenue I wondered about my FDNY man. We had a few telephone conversations, though never met for a traditional date. Traditional date; what was that again? Speed dating, match.com, Facebook…this virtual method of courtship was a bit overwhelming. This considered, I felt cozy when thinking of our outdated means of courtship and communication…A TELEPHONE CONVERSATION!

Oddly enough, as I pondered my telephone romance, my telephone began to ring. Mmmm…it was Adam.

Frankie: “Hello?”

Adam: [Hopeful excitement in his voice] ”Hey! What are you doing tonight?”

Frankie: “Not too sure, perhaps a chill evening at XR Bar.”

Adam: ”There is this party that I am going to at 7 o’clock on the Upper East Side and you HAVE to come.”

Little did I know how much meaning lay in that last word.

“It is exclusive, invite only and I want you to be my guest. I am bringing my friend Patty, she is smokin’ and I know she would like to meet you…”

Frankie: “Adam, who is hosting this party?”

Adam: “Weeellll, it is a party hosted by a group of…a group of people who meet every so often…and well, fuck. C’mon, you HAVE to let me fuck you in front of this room full of people. You don’t HAVE to fuck anyone else, only me.”

Was he for real?!?!

Frankie: “Are you for real?!?! You mean something along the lines of Eyes Wide Shut? Adam, I can’t let you fuck me in front of a room full of people; orgies are just not my style.”

Adam: “It will be amazing, I guarantee, you will never experience anything like it ever again!”

He obviously never had a pomegranate margarita from Rosa Mexicana!

He was totally serious!

I must admit, though I would not be able to bring myself to have sex with Adam under such circumstances (and now reconsidering having sex with him under any circumstances) I was curious and wanted to simply be a fly on the wall…well, a fly on the wall who was holding a dirty martini, of course.

Frankie: “Thank you for the invitation, though I must decline, perhaps next time. ”

I was taught to always be polite…even when…invited…to…an orgy.

Adam: [Miffed] “Fine, I will go and have amazing sex without you. In fact, I will never have sex with you again if you don’t come out tonight!”

Frankie: I had to stifle a HUGE chuckle, “Aww, baby now you don’t mean that.”

I found this entirely too entertaining and could not resist playing around with him–it isn’t every day that I receive such a wild proposal.

Adam: “There is another party on June 4 and you better meet me there!”

Frankie: [Mockingly] “I want a full report in the morning!”

Adam: [Displeased] “Goodbye!”

–Frankie